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flying words

when i am very stressed and i close my eyes, letters and words seem to hurl themselves at me, shrinking and expanding and changing hues. it seems to be my minds way of attempting to order the chaos of my emotions. it can be very annoying, however, as i seem to have no control over it. it just happens, these images shrinking and expanding and rushing to greet me. i don’t know if this is connected to my dreaming habits. i dream vividly, nightly and almost always remember them. i have always thought that this was perfectly normal until lately when dream comparing with friends. my friends almost never remember their dreams…kind of sad i think. i like dreaming, i like to daydream, images are an important part of the way i conceptualize the world. anyway, point being, i have decided to try my hand at a hypertext. i have always loved writing and have notebooks upon notebooks of juvenile poetry and short stories at home. the story i am writing now is based on chaos, chaos in the mind, the home, and in relationships. i am currently trying to figure out how best to represent this chaos visually. maybe i should mimic my own minds way of rationalizing it, the shrinking and expansion of flying words…

March 31, 2004 | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack

how to have a popular blog

i have printed out all of the lists on what to do...and not to do...stuck them in pretty compendiums and given them to students, but the truth is, these 'blogging truths' are self evident. original content, research, something to say, blah blah blah. that is really not the advice the new bloggers need to learn, it is more 'good advice' for all writers. i believe they need to explore the medium, find their *own* voice and take it from there. there are as many reasons for weblog popularity as there are weblogs. write for yourself...find your own passion...people will be attracted to your blog if it reflects your excitement, your own creativity. <a href="http://metamorphosism.com/">metamorphosism</a> illustrates this well in his <a href="http://metamorphosism.com/archives/000737.html#more">satyric list</a>...

March 30, 2004 | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

internet roaches

arhg! my blog has been attacked all week by comment spam! i am so sick of it!

<center><img alt="roach.bmp" src="http://www.sumofmyparts.com/archives/roach.bmp" width="282" height="275" border="0" /> </center>
(picture via <a href="http://yucky.kids.discovery.com/noflash/roaches/">yucky roach world</a>)

any recommendations for the best way to rid myself of these internet <a href="http://roachcom.net/rofacts/">roaches</a>?

<i>update… thanks to <a href="http://mymarkup.net">eric </a>and <a href="http://sodergren.com/chadie">chadie</a> for recommending <a href="http://www.jayallen.org/projects/mt-blacklist/">mt-blacklist</a>. it is a really great plug-in! took a little tweaking, but was very easy to install and seems very powerful. here is hoping for a spam-free blogging week!</i>

March 28, 2004 | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack

critical analysis, part II

today in the lab i sat and spoke with a chinese friend about a paper he is writing about a chinese dam project (will refrain from giving any specific information here). his paper is very descriptive rather than critical, and he mentioned that he did this for a reason. while the western culture somewhat embraces critical analysis, my friend mentioned that in his culture critical analysis of this project could get him in trouble when he moves home. he then began talking about <a href="http://www.time.com/time/time100/leaders/profile/mao.html">mao </a>and how still today some of the programs mao implemented are not called mistakes, but a “miss-think” and how these “miss-thinks” are only possible to examine in a historical perspective. while most of the western world would consider many of mao’s ‘revolutionary’ ideas monstrous, my friend spoke of him as a man who was just trying to help a country in desperate need. i got the impression that he has been taught to not see the mistakes, but rather the advantages. a very <a href="http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0054195/">pollyanna</a> view of history. after speaking with him about his own ideas, some of them very interesting and in direct opposition to the previous mao statements, i wonder if he will be happy when he returns. and in wondering this, am i just forcing my own western ideals on him… the idea that once he has studied here and can apply more critical thought to his arguments, that he will be better off? granted, i am a huge advocator of critical thinking (which i believe is fostered through a more constructivist educational system). i think it will make governing countries much harder (<a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/Iraq/Story/0,2763,1178547,00.html">just look at the fiasco that my homeland had created by following the leader on his alice and wonderland search for weapons</a>), but the end result will hopefully be better, fairer decisions. i am also aware that this could only happen with a more evenly distributed balance of power between the socio-economic classes…but one can dream, right!

March 26, 2004 | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

cinnamon buns, part II

according to the reviewers, the buns were great. i could not try one due to the <a href="http://www.sumofmyparts.com/archives/000042.html">hara-kiri </a>bet i am still in…(not that i mind, the rewards are great!), and the house *does* smell great now…a very cozy, homey scent to sleep to…
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<a href="http://mylookingglass.typepad.com/alternative_reality/DSC00314.JPG"><img alt="DSC00314.JPG" src="http://mylookingglass.typepad.com/alternative_reality/DSC00314-thumb.JPG" width="230" height="150" border="0"/></a>

<a href="http://mylookingglass.typepad.com/alternative_reality/DSC00316.JPG"><img alt="DSC00316.JPG" src="http://mylookingglass.typepad.com/alternative_reality/DSC00316-thumb.JPG" width="230" height="150" border="0"/></a>
</center>

March 26, 2004 | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

cinnamon buns and critical analysis

i ran 15k today for the first time in a long time. it was pushing it a little, i think. i am completely exhausted! this morning i promised to bake cinnamon buns with the kids, so i need to reach down and pull out some energy from somewhere! at the moment, looking for it in the bottom of my mug of tea…

also had an interesting conversation with a chinese man in the lab today about how your published thoughts can follow you, about swedish society, about chinese society, as well as freedom of expression and critical analysis. it was very interesting and will blog more about it after the cinnamon roll expedition. can’t let the little ones down ;-)

March 26, 2004 | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

sum of my parts 1 year old

to sum up the last year in one word (fitting for a one year 'birthday')...

<center> <u><i>momentous </i></u></center>

March 26, 2004 | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

jokkmokk stats

<a href="http://seblogging.cognitivearchitects.com/2004/03/24#a1250">sebastian</a> and <a href="http://blog.humlab.umu.se/therese/archives/000419.html">therese</a> have been discussing presence in blogs, specifically in relation to the <a href="http://www.humlab.umu.se/jokkmokk2004">jokkmokk blog project</a>. today <a href="http://blog.humlab.umu.se/samuel">samuel</a> was showing me the stats for the blog…we had over 21,000 visitors in the four days that we were there. the market itself ‘only’ had around 30,000. does the fact that we had nearly as many visitors as there were present in the market say anything about the feeling of presence associated with our blog?

March 25, 2004 | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

full of hope

today i am sending in the forms to change my name back to my maiden name. this is a very symbolic step for me. it is a way to reclaim my self…the unmarried me. but also a way to reinvent the person i left in the dust 8years ago. when i got married, i did not join my life with a person, i let his life take over mine. don’t get me wrong, i am not placing the blame on him at all. i am not bitter or angry. i am the one that lost myself, i am the one that was too weak to resurface for 8 years. i am the one that married too young and too immature. i have learned a lot from the mistakes made by both of us in this failed marriage…this name change is representative of my struggle to the surface, my way of tipping the scales of balance and power back in my favor.

in about three weeks time i will become stephanie hendrick…no longer stephanie nilsson. will this represent any real difference in my life, possibly not, but i am full of hope. at this moment, there are so many possibilities, so many roads to choose from, so much to experience. <i>i am very full of hope.</i>

March 25, 2004 in way too personal | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBack

applications and the stomach flu

i have been doing a lot of work the last few days, not least finishing the preparations for my doctorate scholarship application. yesterday afternoon, i put it in the mail! the end of a long, but fun, process…and i was quite satisfied with the results. now it is just the waiting game. all of the applicants will find out whether of not they qualified for the award at the end of may when the committee publishes the recipient list on their website. so cross your fingers, hold your thumbs, or do whatever superstitious, luck bringing charm you can think of!

also, got the guest blog up and running on my research site. i am not sure it is the optimal format, but it will work while i try to figure out how to work the cool plug-in. my main problem with the one that i am using is that it is not instantly updated.

today will be a day of rest. the kids and i woke up with the stomach flu, so we are going to stay home, eat a lot of chicken soup, and probably watch too much bad tv. maybe a nap too (only woke up two hours ago, but a nap sounds soooo nice)!

so, to end this really boring entry…more will be posted (of a more interesting nature, i hope) when we are feeling better…

March 23, 2004 | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack